Monday, May 9, 2011

Mothering....

Ah Mother's Day. I love it and almost sometimes loathe it.

I love the scribbled messages, the cards and cuddles. The "Happy Birthday Mummy' from an enthusiastic but ill-informed nearly three year old. The oversized legs on my portrait. Really kid?!

I love the other half's efforts in the kitchen, the sleep in (anything after seven am qualifies) and the trashy novel he bought me as a joke.

I love that the accidental ending of the six year ban on guns in our house has meant so much to my school boy. The ban was about as useful as a UN resolution.
What I don't love is that Mother's Day can make you feel slightly niggly about an otherwise lovely Sunday.

My poor partner had to spend most of yesterday at work catching up on the hundred things that are hanging over him. I wanted him to go. I never resent the time he spends at work. That would be pointless... I know he'd much rather be somewhere else.

It's not like he spent Mother's Day playing golf (he loathes it thankfully) or swilling beer at the football (there's no Aussie football here) but still I spent the day feeling slightly cheated and slightly cross about feeling slightly cheated.

It's like New Year's Eve and having no party to go to but not really wanting to stay up past midnight anyway.

I spent Mother's Day being a mother.  I went to the supermarket with two kids in tow and hissed at them to behave 'because it was Mother's  Day.' I hoped no one would see me... surely no socially right on mother would be buying milk and pasta and lemons on Mother's Day. They'd have their feet up or be tucking into Mother's Day lunch.

I had a friend over who is trying. Not trying company, she's trying very hard for a baby. What's Mother's Day like for her this year? Or those women who've given up trying.

How sad too for those whose Mums are no longer around.  I have my wonderful mum but I didn't see her or my husband's mother on Mother's Day as they live in another country. A lunch with them would have been nice. Maybe Mother's Day will always leave me feeling ever so slightly guilty about where we live.

I do love mothering but I'm not sure I need a fuss or a present to confirm it. Next year we'll ignore the commercial rubbish just as my own mother always insisted.

One exception, chocolate. Last night my husband turned my ever so slightly niggly mood around by giving me his Picnic bar.

Every Sunday should be like that. Mother's Day or not.

7 comments:

  1. Ah, nice post. This year was the first time I've enjoyed mother's day. I'm cynical. But the children thought it was a big deal, and they made things and gave them to me during the week, so that yesterday I received nothing. It was just a normal day with a few extra kisses.

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  2. What a great set of pins you have Ann, he he. It's a pretty gorgeous portrait. I did have a husband at home to make sure I had breakfast in bed, and a roast dinner without having to lift a finger, but I sympathise with your sense of being cheated. Stephen's been so busy at work this year that I'm keeping track of all the public holidays he's been in the office and it's a surprise to me if he's 'available' to chat in the evening - he's usually got his head buried in reading and is concentrating so hard that I feel guilty interrupting him.

    I missed my mum yesterday too, and often feel guilty about living interstate.

    I'm glad you got a picnic bar - I haven't had one of those for 20 years!

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  3. I really love this post, Ann. Your reflections on Mother's Day match the realities of being a mom every day . . . some great highs and some great lows. (I had both yesterday, too.)

    One of my favorite quotes on parenting matches your words. Mark Twain said, "Parenting is an inestimable blessing and bother." Isn't that great.

    Glad you got your chocolate.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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  4. Ah, Mr VL rose to the occasion, I see! Another ripper post, Ann. And the drawing is precious - at least you have legs. J x

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  5. Lovely mothers days drawings and letters. They are keepers (kids and the pics!)

    My husband works away (mines - 6 hrs away, roughly away a week and home 2-3 days) so yes fight that resentment a lot too. Just like you its not like hes off living the high life - 13 hr shifts including nights and constant driving and being away etc but hmmmm still....however he WAS home for Mothers day and had a lovely morning

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  6. Your book list v similar to mine and always on the look out for a great read!!

    Here's my 2 cents worth.

    March and Year of Wonders both great reads partic March love the idea of using the father character and building his back story. People of the Book hmmm not so good.

    Remarkable Creatures - love that its based on history. Not sure if I would give it a 9 tho

    Many false starts on Dickens (and Girl with a Dragon tattoo) . Both (totally different) worth persisting with apparently

    Always have to fit some Austen in but not sure what - havent read Northhanger Abbey so may follow your lead on that one.

    My "Seen the movie now read the book (and see the movie again as its so beautifully filmed) would be The Painted Veil. And YES to EM Forster (both movies AND book)

    Other good movie/books that actually work are Atonement and Q and A (SlumDog Millionaire) (yes yes the different ending and the massive diffs in Slumdog... but still - enjoyed both immensely)

    Twilight I can live without - even if feel only person in the world not to have read. Havent read or seen Harry Potter either. Just not my thing.

    Liked the Secret River and would like to read The Lieutenant.

    Hmmmm Sebastian Faulks - had heard such great things. Plodded through A Week in December -
    it was good but not great. Tried Engleby and Birdsong too

    The Slap - Christos Tsialkos: interesting, great bookclub one loads to discuss but overrated I think

    Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns and before that his award winning Kite Runner which I started and never finished. I'd like to try again. Yes to both

    So enjoyed the Time Traveller's Wife so I'd like to get Her Fearful Symmetry - Audrey Niffeneger. Loved Time T W but took me about 3-4 goes. Not one to read with a newborn. The date changes/time slipping did my head in but so glad I went back to. HAvent read Symetry but may do so would love to hear what you think

    Memory Keeper's Daughter - Kim Edwards, it's everywhere so it's on the list! Good read but a bit of a Womens Weekly review

    Mister Pip - Lloyd Jones. Missed this one at bookclub and have always meant to come back to

    The Finkler Question - Howard Jacobsen - last year's Man Booker Prize winner. Didnt like/couldnt get into - but may have been as was listening on iPod and wasnt working for me

    Frank Moorhouse - Grand Days and Dark Palace. Both come highly reccomended but I havent been able to get into

    Love Ruth Park

    Havent heard of The Man Who Loved Children but looking into.

    Parrot and Olivier in America - Peter Carey - Next on my list. Oscar and Lucinda would have to be one of my all time favourite reads

    Wasnt impressed by Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society - top 5 from the bookshop girl really? Altho I do love her committment - no TV so more time to read is admirable

    We Need to Talk About Kevin, Lionel Shriver LOVED and enjoyed So Much For That but Kevin better I think. Havent read her Post-Birthday one

    Love The Sea Iris Murdoch and would like to read more of hers

    Old uni friends LOVED Heyer but I want those hours of my life back

    Have read a few Philippa Gregorys they are ok

    For a good historical based read have you read any Edward Rutherferd eg Sarum, Dublin, London, The Forest etc

    Or Ken Follets Pillars of the Earth - Cathedral books. A good saga

    Have heard good things about One Day and Bereft.

    Have you read:

    * The Story of Edgar Sawtelle - David Wrobleski
    * Jasper Jones - Craig Silvey
    * The Space Between Us - Thrity Umrigar
    * A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
    * Lesson Before Dying -
    * Love in the time of Cholera
    * The Housekeeper and the Professor
    * The Other Hand/Little Bee
    * The Road - Cormac McCarthy
    * The Woman Who Walked into Doors - roddy Doyle
    * Perfume - Patrick suskind

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  7. What a lovely post!
    Here in Spain mother's day is the first sunday in May.
    I loved mother's day this year: I also got to sleep in a little, my mum came over for lunch - a delicious paella lovingly made by the husband - and got to sleep a loooooooooong siesta (do I sound sleep deprived?)
    The kidd also drew a portrait of me. Mine has thinner legs than yours, but I have 7 fingers in my hands and eyes the size of a chameleon's - not to mention the earrings. Ahhh, but it is beautiful in its "Picassian" manner.
    Hope the move's preparations are going well. Being a seasoned mover I am sure you will have everything organized in no time.
    All the best.

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Thanks for taking the time to write, Ann x